Membership status: Member
Bio:
I was re-born with the soul of an ancient blues guitarist in an abandoned 1948 Greyhound Senicruiser bus outside Parchman Farm, Mississippi. Christened Hambone Ophelia by a far-out dude in a dashiki and a Chicago Bears cap, I left the safety and relative luxury of my childhood home for the county crossroads where I pawned my drudic soul to a guy called Newton in exchange for the ability to write Twilight fanfiction.
Team Cope, baby. 
2nd Place Winner! An Edward To Remember - Classic Hollywood Romance Contest. Based on The Philadelphia Story, 1940. There's a lot going on at "Philadelphia House" this weekend, as the household prepares for the wedding of younger son Edward Cullen.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Edward Cullen
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 14719 Read Count: 17
o/s Spring Break. Cancun. Booze. Babes. Not for Emmett McCarty who has to work. In the mall. Hungover and in a bunny costume. The girl no one can get is taking the pictures and handing out hangover remedies. A/H Non-canon pairing. Rated M for language.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen, Kate
Genre 1: Romance
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2042 Read Count: 6
Second Place Winner, Side-Shots Category, Me and Mr. McCarty contest! Side Shot for Fire and Ice by winterstale.
A Venn Diagram shows all hypothetically possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets. The McCartys set the diagram ablaze. Everybody is at the party. Canon story? Nope, they threw it on the fire too. Collaboration between winterstale and Viola Cornuta. AU/AH.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen
Genre 1: Family
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 8759 Read Count: 10
A Twilight/Gilmore Girls Crossover! Lorelai Gilmore just wants a cup of coffee and an explanation about all of these apples. Jasper Whitlock digs deep to calm the caffeinated innkeeper. Can the empath float an emotion that will distract her from the chaos at check-in? A collaboration between winterstale and Viola Cornuta.
Categories: Cross-Over
Characters: Gilmore Girls, Twilight
Genre 1: None
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4274 Read Count: 1190
Emmett and Rosalie live in a truly Alternative Universe. As Zeus and Demeter they have a wild child to raise and a relationship to sort out. Short and sweet, collab with winterstale for April's Birthday Anthology. Canon? Not exactly! Funny? Absolutely!
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale
Genre 1: Fantasy
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1802 Read Count: 863
It's always hectic right before a wedding. Emmett gets a surprise, Edward gets a lap-dance, Carlisle gets out of control, Jasper gets a date. The Cullen men bond over drinks, dinner and live entertainment. AH, M.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale
Genre 1: Friendship
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4916 Read Count: 42
A/H OOC NC Pairing. Dating when you're divorced and over 35 can be hard, especially when a space ranger seems to be intent on keeping you from the prize. Written for the ADF Happy Valentines Day Emmett Challenge. Rated M for a reason.
Categories: Books and Literature > Twilight
Characters: Emmett Cullen
Genre 1: Family
Genre 2: Humour
Type of Humour: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 10892 Read Count: 6